I doNOT!
by Nocturnalux
Summary: Ribbons manages Tieria into marrying him for political reasons in the hope of creating peace...somehow. Craziness follows. Lots of BL smut of the crack kind, expect insanity in every chapter. Like all of my Gundam 00 fics this was first published on the kinkmeme way back in the day so it references it on occasion.
1. Chapter 1

That there were many ways of ensuring peace Tieria knew full well. That some of them involved his getting married to Ribbons, however, was not something he had ever anticipated. Unfortunately, it was so. Tieria had agreed to a tactical and political alliance that required only his signature as far as ceremonies went. 

So he was more than a little annoyed now that he stood in front of a full length mirror. The ruffles of his wedding dress cascaded down his legs and made it difficult to turn around and check out the shiny white bow that sprouted from his lower back and covered his ass. Tieria hated it with a passion and he could not understand why Ribbons had insisted on making him wear this preposterous attire unless it was deliberately to ruffle his feathers. If that was it then it was clearly working. 

Tieria turned around again and nearly tripped on his absurdly high heels. Was he really expected to walk down a long aisle when he could not even properly stand in them, it was utterly idiotic. Tieria glared at his image in the mirror. He hated everything about this dress, from the tight feathery corset to the fringes of the ridiculous long tail that dragged on the floor. As if he needed more things to hinder his mobility. He clenched his hands, the elbow high gloves creasing slightly. 

"My, that is the most forlorn bride I have ever seen." 

Tieria tried to spin around, failed as his heels gave way and he ended up landing in Ribbon's arms. 

"Let go of me!" 

Ribbons patted fluffy purple hair through the transparent veil. 

"Is that any way of treating your groom?" 

Tieria pushed himself off Ribbons and tried to kill him with a glare. 

"Why am I the bride? This outfit is too uncomfortable. Why do I have to wear it?" 

Ribbons smiled. Tieria's anger was a bonus in this whole affair. 

"Because you're so pretty and you look so…tasty in it." 

Tieria blushed out of sheer rage. 

"Shut up. You know this is a political marriage and nothing more." 

"Oh? Does that mean we won't have a great wedding night? I am looking forward to making the bed creak." 

Tieria slapped Ribbons across the face, hard enough to make it resound. Unfortunately for Tieria it did nothing to wipe out the Ribbons' smile. Tieria wanted to scream. 

"You're a feisty one, Tieria. That's one of the reasons why I like you so much." 

Tieria opened his mouth to protest but before he could utter a word Ribbons had closed in the space between them and kissed him, suddenly and without a warning. Tieria tried to pull away but Ribbons held him in place, his tongue darting inside Tieria's mouth as he tasted him.  
>Tieria was breathless and boiling with rage by the time Ribbons allowed him to emerge from the kiss. He could feel himself blush ever deeper and getting hot. <p>

"How- how _dare_ you!" 

Ribbons tilted Tieria's chin and looked into deeply red eyes. 

"We are engaged to be married, I can kiss my bride if I feel like it. And I feel like it." 

Ribbons kissed him again, slowly this time around. Tieria tried to pull away once again, he felt slightly dizzy and unsure of what to do about it, but Ribbons niftily stepped forward and took advantage of his disorientation to corner him into falling back into a sofa.  
>There was a whoosh of satin as Tieria's layered skirts pooled around him. <p>

"It's a political union! There's no need for this!" 

Ribbons leaned and nipped at Tieria's collar bone, pinning his wrists high above his head and settling on top of him so that he could not kick. Tieria squirmed and cursed inwardly. He was beyond angry by now, not just at Ribbons but at himself. His lacy panties- hand picked by Ribbons, not surprisingly- felt all too tight as Ribbons shifted his weight so as to grind against him. 

"Would it be really bad if I left a mark?" 

Ribbons sucked at the hollow of his neck. Tieria's smooth skin felt much warmer than usual and it made Ribbons very happy. 

"Get off me already!" 

Ribbons smiled widely and parted the folds of the skirts to reveal a milky portion of tight, white garters and matching panties. He traced a finger along the budding bulge in the sleek fabric, causing Tieria to squirm some more. 

"And what is this? For all your complaining, it seems you're enjoying yourself.


	2. Chapter 2

Tieria glared furiously. 

"What do you think you're doing?" 

Ribbons added more pressure and took the developing erection between two fingers. The lace was rubbing against his skin and the added feel of Ribbons' hand had him fully hard and it was with great effort that Tieria did not buck reflexively. 

"Do I really need to explain it to you, Tieria?" 

Ribbons kissed him and moved a thumb over the moist tip of Tieria's erection, causing the fabric to grow damp. Tieria gasped as he pushed his hips upwards for more contact and found himself kissing him back before turning his head to the side. Ribbons simply moved to kissing his neck, tracing a fast pulse with his tongue. 

"Stop…that." 

Tieria wished that he could sound commanding but he did not need to check the mirror to know that his cheeks were burning and that his breathing was shallower than it should be. It caused his chest to heave against the unyielding corset. 

"You can say all you want but your body tells me all I need to know." 

Tieria bit his lower lip as Ribbons pressed his own erection against his groin, slowly grinding. He let go of Tieria's hands now who hooked one of them on the sofa's arms, the gloves slipping. 

"You're _sick_." 

"That's just the way you like it, my cute and needy bride." 

Ribbons peeled the gloves away and licked his fingers one by one, the grinding not stopping and Tieria stammered. 

"I hate you." 

"Now that hurts, Tieria. When you say those things. Especially when you're this hard already." 

Tieria tried to think of a retort but he was getting very hot and slightly confused. His anger was mingled with lust and he was not even sure where one ended and the other began. Maybe he was so turned on because he was angry. 

"You're a rapist, Ribbons Almark." 

Ribbons adopted a mock offended expression and parted Tieria's legs, pressing the inner thighs as he hooked a leg over the arm of the sofa. 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I will have to punish you now. And I love you so much." 

Tieria rolled his eyes and Ribbons took the opportunity to slip his panties down to his knees and set his member free of constrains. Tieria took a sharp breath and sighed. Before he could say anything Ribbons was licking his hardness. Just briefly enough to make Tieria whine as Ribbons withdrew. Tieria turned hazy eyes to Ribbons. 

"Is there something you want to want to me to do, Tieria?" 

Tieria bit his lip again. He was dripping over the dress and eager to have more of that wet feeling of pleasure but he could not ask for it. His anger climbed a notch as he saw Ribbons' smile grow wider. 

"I want you to get _off_ me right now." 

Ribbons held Tieria's face with both hands and licked swollen lips. 

"I have a better idea. I'll get off on you…or in you." 

Tieria's heart skipped a beat and he took another sharp breath. 

"Why you-" 

He stopped mid sentence as Ribbons unbuckled and removed his pants and boxers. Tieria did not want to stare. He really didn't. And he certainly did not want to imagine how _that_ would feel inside him. Tieria was trying almost desperately not to think about such things when Ribbons reached into the many folds of fabric and squeezed a buttock and probed his entrance, slowly working a finger into him. Tieria tried to complain but Ribbons was sucking his length, rolling a tongue around it while keeping him from bucking as Tieria so wanted. 

Ribbons pulled away and pushed the finger deeper, smiled with genuine mirth at Tieria's whimper. 

"I told you I had to punish you, didn't I? And I'm a man of my word."


	3. Chapter 3

Tieria's anger was reaching a whole new level. He folded his arms and smirked.

"You're not even a man. You're an Innovator." 

"Right back at you, Tieria."  
>Before Tieria had a chance of saying anything Ribbons had turned him around and pinned him to the sofa. Tieria tried to set himself free but the foamy white folds that bundled around him made it virtually impossible. Not to mention Ribbons, who now climbed unto the sofa and began to quietly undo the strings of Tieria's corset. It removed the pressure on his chest even as it added it to his lower back, Ribbons gingerly making sure that Tieria got the point. <p>

"Will you let go already!" 

Tieria tried to squirm away with little success. At least he could breathe easier now that the strings were loosened. Ribbons kissed the hollow of his neck and sucked his way upward until he was nibbling an earlobe. It made Tieria doubly nervous that he could not see Ribbons even as he could feel one of those sardonic smiles plastered against his sensitive skin. Ribbons smothered the many layers of fabric and suddenly tugged at the corset strings, tightening it so abruptly that Tieria was dizzy as black spots exploded on his field of vision. He was still struggling to get enough air into his lungs to keep himself from blacking out when he heard a ruffle of skirts being lifted and then Ribbons was ramming into him. 

Tieria lurched forward- as much as he could, that is- in a futile attempt to escape from the blazing white pain that seared his insides. Involuntary tears welled and he blinked them away as a reflex more than anything else. He did not want Ribbons to have the satisfaction of seeing him cry but he hardly cared when all he could feel was choking agony and blinding pain. 

"Is my adorable bride regretting his terrible attitude?"  
>Ribbons remained buried to the hilt, firmly sheathed and unmoving and some of his mocking tone reached Tieria even through the haze of pain. Tieria spoke through gritted teeth but he made sure he sounded as unaffected as possible.<p>

"Not really. Only goes to show that you _are_ a rapist." 

Ribbons turned Tieria's face so that he could see the cocky smile that he could feel in his words. It was as enjoyable as being deep inside Tieria. And it would be even more enjoyable to see it shatter. 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Why do you do this? You force me to punish you. It breaks my heart." 

Ribbons gave him one hard thrust and tightened the corset a bit more. Tieria did not cry out but it took all of his effort. He clutched the sofa and braced himself as Ribbons pounded into him, mercilessly, sending blasts of hot pain through his body. It burnt from the inside and travelled along his nerves like warped electricity until he his very skin was slippery with sweat under the dress. 

"You don't have a heart." 

The rocking motion was briefly interrupted as Ribbons angled his aim slightly upwards and Tieria tossed his head back and arched his body to meet the rapid impact that made him gasp even as the corset crushed him anew. In the distracting swirl of wild pain Tieria had almost forgotten all about his arousal but he was reminded it of it now. Tieria was not expecting this kind of piercing pleasure nor did he know what to do as he became all too aware of his dripping erection rubbing against the maddeningly smooth fabric of too many skirts. 

Ribbons slowed down, deliberately thrusting deeply so as to strike the precise right spot. Tieria almost wanted the pain back instead of this feverish feeling that left him defenseless. A strangled moan left him before he could stifle it. 

"You were saying something? It's difficult to understand when you're moaning." 

Another sharp thrust forced another moan out of Tieria. This was pure torture, his body was turning into a pliant line twisted around a scorching centre of pleasure that irradiated each time Ribbons pounded into him and it was with difficulty that he did not urge him to go faster.


	4. Chapter 4

Tieria sighed and placed his forehead against the sofa to see if he could gain some control over the slight confusion that was clouding his judgment- that was the only way he could explain his desire to push back into intrusive hardness- and his hand crept to his groin.

"Now, now, Tieria. I'll have none of that." 

Ribbons niftily slapped his hand and Tieria managed a very angry glare over his shoulder. His lust fueled his anger instead of nullifying it and it all became worse as frustration climbed a few more notches. 

"You're a bastard." 

Ribbons chuckled merrily and withdrew, picked up Tieria and the bundle of ruffles and deposited him in front of the full length mirror. Tieria was too surprised at the sudden loss of contact- not to mention disappointed, not that he was about to admit to _that_- to struggle and it was only when he found himself lying on the floor amidst a confusion of fluttery fabric that he tried to scramble away. It proved a fruitless effort as Tieria could not coordinate stiletto heels and yards of white stuff that weighted him down. Ribbons chuckled again and nimbly got him on his hand and knees, facing his furious bridal attired reflection. 

"What's so funny?" 

"You are." 

Ribbons neatly kept him in place and tilted his chin so that Tieria could do not look away from the mirror, much to his profound annoyance. Why should he blush like this, it was unseemly. It was probably because he could hardly breathe with the absurd torture devise into which his upper body was encase, the dreadful corset that Tieria would burn as soon as this was over. He was thinking about this when Ribbons peeled away a stocking and gingerly used it to bind his hands behind his back. 

"What are you doing, untie me right _now_!" 

Ribbons traced some fingers along Tieria's hip and scooted the skirts out of the way. 

"Or what? You'll look at me really angrily? I'm scared now." 

Tieria settled for disgruntled silence. He tried to free his arms but it was no use. Tieria felt utterly helpless, unable to move and in a highly uncomfortable position. He squirmed as Ribbons wrapped and arm around his waist and got him stare straight at the mirror once again and hissed as Ribbons impaled him in one sudden thrust. 

Ribbons's pace was fast, each impact sending sparkles over Tieria's field of vision but he could still see the way his mouth was shaped in a rosy 'o' that was close to begging, how his eyes were growing unfocused and blurred, how he moved in tandem with the rhythm that sent his body rocking back and forth with true eagerness. And behind him Ribbons kept smiling mockingly enough as he fucked him senseless. 

"You know, Tieria…white wedding dresses are meant for virgin brides. Not very fitting for you." 

Tieria did not exactly care about human conventions about purity any more than he cared for human matters in general but he was highly annoyed by the teasing on Ribbons' part. Then again, he was not exactly thinking properly at the moment, not with a hard length of flesh shoved into him and rubbing on his weak spot repeatedly. A tingling rush filled him and as Ribbons sat him on his back, fully bringing him down on his erection, Tieria could not even complain. The shift of pressure inside him was enough to make him forget that his tied hands added strain to his arms and that the jostling of so many skirts looked like he was drowning in foam. 

"Oh…" 

Tieria opened his legs widely to gain some leverage as his body moved up and down, absorbing the thrusts that Ribbons delivered. He arched his back as bits of dress slipped enough to expose his red tipped member that was dripping and in dear need of attention. Tieria hated the way it showed on the mirror, bobbing up and down and dripping. 

"Still want me to stop, Tieria?" 

That was the last thing he wanted. As much as he hated Ribbons he needed him to give him more of this breathless feeling. Ribbons took the opportunity to slowly unloose and equally slowly tighten the corset strings and much to Tieria's horror he could see fresh pre-cum oozing out of him as well as feel it messily coat his length.


	5. Chapter 5

Tieria cursed his luck yet again.

"…whatever…" 

Ribbons gave him a sharp thrust and Tieria flailed some. At least Ribbons took the opportunity to untie the stocking and free his arms. Tieria's first reaction was to turn around and slap Ribbons as hard as possible but as it turned out he could only brace himself to keep his balance as Ribbons mercilessly fucked him. 

"I'll take that as 'Please don't stop.'" 

Tieria rolled his eyes emphatically and Ribbons giggled. 

"Spare me." 

"You really need to work on your manners, Tieria _darling_." 

Ribbons lightly touched the very wet flesh that poked through the layers of white satin and Tieria bucked immediately, his body running away with him. Tieria groaned in wordless protest as Ribbons, still gingerly giggling, wrapped his testicles with the fabled stocking. Tieria gasped and gasped some more. He could feel himself edging closer to a heated climax but the newly added restrain kept him on the verge, Ribbons delivering well aimed thrusts that lifted his whole body and then sent him crashing down. Tieria squirmed and gritted his teeth. 

"…bastard…" 

Once again Ribbons guided Tieria's chin so that he had no other option than to watch his reflection. Tieria matched Ribbons' movements perfectly now, his eagerness increasing with each tug at the stocking from Ribbons' part as his thoughts became muddled. 

"Tell you what, Tieria. I'll be nice to you. I'll let you come if we exchange our vows right here and now." 

It took Tieria a few seconds to fully realize just what Ribbons meant. 

"Why…?" 

Ribbons hardly had to do anything, Tieria taking it to himself to ride his hardness for all he was worth, the frustrating plateau making him literally squirm in expectation. 

"Call it rehearsal. Let's try your part. 'Do you, Tieria Erde, accept the great Ribbons Almark to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?'" 

"…ego maniac." 

"Wrong answer. It's just two little words, Tieria. Even you should manage that." 

Ribbons gave a hard tug at the stocking that nearly ripped Tieria's balls, or so he felt, even as the pain faded into constant waves of pleasure. 

"I- I do…" 

Ribbons kept Tieria from moving and slowly bore into him, rubbing against his weak spot with enough insistence to make him moan incoherently. 

"Not loud enough, my bride." 

Tieria gave up on being subdued. 

"I DO! Happy now?!" 

"So much better." 

Ribbons undid with the knot and Tieria's orgasm hit him immediately. Hot bouts of euphoria burst upon him and he was hardly aware of Ribbons releasing inside him. Tieria watched himself spray the mirror even as convulsions racked his body. His orgasm sapped all energy from him and Tieria was glad to finally collapse on the floor, a bundle of fabric on his wake, a smooth feeling of satiated contentment lulling him into almost falling asleep. He was only vaguely aware that Ribbons was sitting in the sofa but could feel his eyes glittering all over him. 

"Oy! You're not supposed to see the bride in her wedding dress. That's bad luck!" 

Tieria snapped out of this soothing afterglow and clambered to his feet, his eyes shooting daggers at a very puzzled Lockon that stood at the threshold, scratching his head. 

"That's not what's wrong here! And what are you doing here?!" 

Lockon took notice of the highly disheveled dress that was partially wet, of Tieria's flushed face, of Ribbons happily sitting on the plush sofa and then of the suspicious white stuff sliding down the mirror. 

"Erm, well, you were taking so long to try the dress that I decided to check on you." 

Tieria was trying to gather his bearing when a bouncy Haro sprang out of nowhere and in his surprise he tripped and would have fallen if Ribbons did not easily sweep him off the floor and into his arms. 

"Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations." 

The small round robot flapped its ears happily and opened its mouth to reveal two wedding rings.

"Haro brought you your rings! So nice of him, don't you think?" 

Tieria staggered out of Ribbons' embrace and glared at him, then glared at Lockon, then glared at the Haro that immediately grew silent. 

"No, I don't think. I don't want any stupid rings, we're not even a couple! I hate Ribbons!" 

Ribbons shook his head in mock sadness. 

"Oh…well, you guys couldn't even wait for the wedding night…you don't have to be embarrassed, Tieria! I think it's great that you're in love!"


	6. Chapter 6

Tieria choked and stammered.

"In love?! Are you completely out of your mind?!"

Ribbons chuckled and Tieria considered throwing a shoe at him. Put those high heels to good use.

Tieria had a moment of such blinding fury that he could not even speak. Ribbons spoke for him.

"I'm afraid we cannot reproduce like humans-"

"Lockon Stratos, you do realize I am male? Not to mention not capable of sexual reproduction? This is a political union! That's all there is to it! What part of 'political union' can't you understand?!"

The Haro discretely rolled back to Lockon as if intimidated by Tieria's outburst.

"It seems that my beautiful bride does not understand my feelings. To think that I love Tieria so very much-"

"Oh shut up."

Ribbons shrugged.

"Erm…if you guys want some privacy I'll tell the others to wait. 'Cause everyone really wants to see how you look in the wedding dress…speaking of which, maybe you need a new one?"

Tieria's dress was rather tattered by now with bits of puff scattered all over the floor.

"I don't care one way or another."

Ribbons shut him up with a kiss and Tieria was doubly annoyed by Lockon's goofy 'aww'.

"We'll get you a shorter dress. One that is easier to remove."

Ribbons kissed him again, a deep kiss that ended with a slight bite to the lower lip. In the background Lockon whistled.

"You're a bastard, Ribbons Almark."

Ribbons lightly kissed Tieria's hand with borderline gallantry.

"I love you too, Tieria."

"It's too short."

Tieria was sure that nothing could be worse than the nightmarish ruffles and corset but this kinky white dress that hardly covered his ass was possibly more annoying to wear. For one, it also limited his mobility even if a slit ran up almost all the way to his waist and exposed transparent stockings coupled with dreadful garters. It was very obvious that Ribbons had selected another bridal attire that Tieria hated with a passion.

"Oh? I think it's fine."

Tieria's eyes narrowed. Ribbons looked very happy in his vaguely 18th century outfit with royal blue frills and a jacket. Where was the guillotine when you were in dire of one, Tieria wondered. His bitter reveries were interrupted by an unfamiliar sound that he could not quite place.

"It's here!"

Ribbons gingerly sauntered to the window and Tieria followed as fast as he could considering the dress. Parked just outside was the strangest vehicle Tieria had ever seen. Something with horses whose hoofs striking the road must have been the mysterious sound and some sort of bizarre plush carriage of sorts with plenty of seating room.

"What is that?"

Ribbons smiled widely.

"It's my special couch carriage deluxe, bridal version. Costume made by Ikea."

Tieria took a second look at it. Very red, very big, very weird.

"So…it's a giant couch on wheels? And you expect me to ride on that with you?"

"You do not understand the beauty of sophistication."

Tieria shrugged.

"Horse power is completely outdated."

"It's a matter of style, Tieria. You should be honored that you get to ride on my dream carriage."

Tieria rolled his eyes.

"I don't care one whit for your car…thing, whatever it is. And why is this stupid ceremony taking place at a church anyway?"

Tieria did not terribly mind putting his signature on a piece of paper at some notary or whatever department handled matrimony contracts but walking down the aisle as if this was a normal wedding was utterly purposeless not to mention aggravating.

"As you have gone to great lengths to say, it's a political union. And political unions need visibility and dignity. By the way, it's not a church but a cathedral."

Tieria folded his arms. The sleeves were very smooth and transparent. They were also the most modest aspect of the whole dress.

"You want me to walk into a cathedral dressed like a stripper?"

Ribbons chuckled.

"It's a tasteful choice of attire. And you were the one who complained that your former dress was disagreeable."

Tieria placed a foot on the sofa and pointed at the slit that widened enough to reveal a generous portion of thigh.

"Are you serious? Look at it! It's too short and it rides up when I sit."

Ribbons eyes slid down Tieria's body.

"Oh don't worry…I'm looking and enjoying what I see."

Tieria put his foot back on the floor.

"Where do you find these things anyway? Sex shops?"

"I have them costume made, of course."

Tieria was puzzled.

"How do you know my measures?"

"I used Regene to-"

Tieria placed a hand over Ribbons' mouth and glanced around rapidly as if afraid. It was Ribbons' turn to be surprised.


	7. Chapter 7

"Hush, don't say his name. Or he'll appear." 

Tieria's face was very close to Ribbons as he whispered. Only after Ribbons nodding did he remove his hand, slowly. 

"Aren't you being a bit too paranoid? I don't think Rege-" 

"I told you not to say his name! You don't know how it's like. I keep seeing shiny glasses from the corner of my eyes. That and purple." 

"Maybe you're just spending too much time in front of mirrors." 

"Don't get smart with me! I'm telling you he stalks me so! In fact," 

Tieria got on all fours and peered under the sofa. Ribbons got a good sight of a very shapely ass popped in the air. 

"-Not here. Thank Veda for that." 

Ribbons coughed. 

"That skirt of yours really rides up." 

Tieria half sat half knelt on the floor and looked up at Ribbons. 

"I've been saying that all along. Not that you pay attention to what I say anyway. At least he's not hiding here." 

"Brotherly love is so…special." 

Tieria got up and proceeded to tug at the skirt in an attempt to make it longer.

"Shut up. This is so short, I might as well walk around naked." 

Ribbons brightened up at this. 

"That is a good idea." 

Ribbons took a step in his direction. 

"Back off. We'll be late at this rate." 

"Ah yes, you are so fond of punctuality." 

They made their way outside, Tieria stumbling a few steps behind Ribbons because he was not in the mood to take the offered arm and he still could not quite handle absurdly high heels. Standing in the shadow of Ribbons' vehicle Tieria realized just how weird it truly was. Why the plushy platform should be so high up was beyond him nor did he approve of the garish red color. 

"What is this, your couch-mobile? The cockpit is as high as my Gundam's." 

Tieria walked around it, curiously. It lacked weapons that he could identify which was a great flaw in its design. Ribbons followed him. 

"It is convertible so there is a roof. And it also flies." 

"It flies? That is interesting." 

Tieria came across a ladder and handed his heels to Ribbons. He began climbing while Ribbons took the opportunity to appreciate the way Tieria's ass moved under the skimpy dress. 

"Ladies first." 

Tieria stopped and turned around rapidly, hooking a leg on the ladder to keep himself from falling. 

"Shut up! Will you ever stop aggravating me?" 

Ribbons shrugged and activated a ramp that neatly carried him all the way to the gigantic seat. 

"Do not fall, Tieria." 

Tieria glared and carried on climbing. He should have known that there would be another way of accessing the vehicle proper but he was not used to neat escalators. Unfortunately by the time he reached the highly plush cockpit-like mega couch he was panting from exertion while Ribbons was already sitting merrily. 

"Welcome aboard!" 

Tieria took a few tentative steps in the deep carpet-like surface. His feet sank all the way to the ankle and it was with some difficulty that he made his way to the actual seat that ran around the whole area of the cockpit. Tieria made sure he sat apart from Ribbons and tried to keep the skirt from climbing up and failed at it. Ribbons activated the roof that covered the open seat and the vehicle began turning on its wheels. 

Tieria eased back and nearly got swallowed by the cushions, his legs kicking in the air as he struggled to free himself. Ribbons picked him up and placed him on his lap. 

"Your couch-mobile is as unpractical as it is ugly." 

"Are you always this sour, Tieria?" 

Tieria tossed his hair angrily enough, a swish of silky purple tickling Ribbons. 

"You can't expect me to be happy about this arrangement." 

Ribbons ran his fingers through Tieria's hair, combing it. 

"Why not? Luxury, being pampered and the best sex you could ask for." 

Tieria wished that he could scramble out of Ribbons' lap but the seats were like bogs of fabric. 

"Like I'd want to have sex with _you_." 

Ribbons giggled. 

"Always so snarky. And I had you begging just yesterday."


	8. Chapter 8

Tieria settled for forlorn silence. Ribbons interrupted it. 

"Which reminds me, about our honeymoon. Like you've said you don't care for that so I took the liberty of booking us a romantic tropical cruise." 

Tieria shrugged. 

"I suppose it could be worse. Somehow. Which reminds me…" 

Tieria looked around, his eyes narrowed. He stepped out of Ribbons' lap and studied his surroundings as if he was on the battlefield, zeroing for potential enemies. Ribbons made a mental note to re-educate Tieria, his soldier ways were not ladylike enough to be his wife. 

"Is something wrong?" 

"Hush. I'm trying to see if he's around." 

Tieria removed one of the huge pillows with a sweep and nearly fell backwards. He peered cautiously into the hole. 

"Do you mean Rege-" 

"I told you not to say his name!" 

Ribbons titled his head to the side. 

"I'm beginning to think you want your twin to stalk you. I'm a bit jealous, after all you are engaged to me." 

Tieria rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses. 

"Don't be ridiculous." 

Ribbons made him sit on his lap once more and unzipped him clean out of his dress. 

"This one is so much easier to remove. You must find it so practical." 

"I got the point. No need to undress me."

Ribbons eased him on the seat on his back and clambered on top of him, casting a light kiss on his lips. 

"Any excuse to get you naked is a good one." 

"It figures that you would say that. Pervert." 

Ribbons divested himself of his clothes and pinned him down, running a finger down Tieria's chest, navel, poking the bellybutton and stopping just short of the silky panties. 

"Now, now, Tieria. Few things are less perverted than sex between an engaged couple in the missionary position." 

Tieria rolled his eyes again and tried to push his hips up as Ribbons slipped a hand between lacy fabric and flesh. 

"We don't have to do this, it's just a political union…" 

"Of course." 

Ribbons rubbed him and slid one finger inside, caressing an inner tight. 

"Then why are you doing this anyway?" 

It amused Ribbons considerably that even as Tieria rambled like this he grew flushed and became hard. 

"Be nice for a change, Tieria." 

Tieria closed his eyes as Ribbons widened him, skillfully enough, adding pressure to his insides and letting it build. 

"What do you mean, 'be nice'? I'm always nice! You're the rapist here!" 

Ribbons chuckled and tossed Tieria's panties. 

"And you're putting on such a fight. You're nasty, snarky, rude and not at all polished." 

Tieria snapped as Ribbons fully expected him to. Predictable behavior from his holier than thou bride. 

"What does that have to do with anything? Don't expect _me_ to change for your convenience." 

Ribbons added another finger and pushed deeply into him, lathering an already hard nipple and tweaking the other one. Tieria sighed and spread his legs so that Ribbons could get just the right spot. 

"I'll add hypocrisy to the list of your offenses." 

Tieria was vaguely aware that his vitriol sounded less than impressing when he was being finger fucked and enjoying every moment of it but that did not stop him. 

"As if you could say anything, you rapist." 

Ribbons chuckled again and replaced his fingers by his dick, slowing penetrating him and laughing at Tieria who wrapped his long legs around him for more stimulation. 

"You must stop saying that. It's not rape, I'm giving you just what you want." 

Tieria moaned and tried to gain some leverage by using his elbows to lift his body off the couch. Ribbons got the gist and scooted closer so that he could ram into him for all he was worth. Tieria let him kiss him even if he could not be bothered to kiss back. 

"Hurry…" 

For once Ribbons actually obeyed and repeatedly plunged into him. Tieria clutched at the sofa and Ribbons unhooked his legs so that he could bend them over his shoulders. Tieria was only aware of the impact that sent his body rocking and so he did not exactly understand when Ribbons gingerly announced, 

"We have arrived."


	9. Chapter 9

Tieria blinked. His glasses were slightly askew but he could see Ribbons' amusement all too well. For a second he was sure that Ribbons would just walk away. 

"You will finish what you started, Ribbons Almark!" 

Ribbons shrugged and gave him a few hard thrusts that knocked the commanding attitude straight out of him, reducing Tieria to a moaning mess, fists clutching the seat. 

"But I thought you didn't want to be late." 

"Never…mind…that." 

Ribbons crashed into him a few more times. The suspension of the vehicle caused it to sway in tandem with the pattern that shook Tieria's whole body at ever diminishing intervals. 

"My, just like I asked Ikea to make it, waterbed-like." 

Tieria's knuckles were white and he clung to the couch in a flailing way and he came almost silently all over Ribbons who followed a few thrusts later, making another mental not to let impetuous purple hairs get their satisfaction before himself in the future. Tieria was very cute as he basked in his afterglow and Ribbons wiped a rebel strand of hair that swished over his closed eyes. A pink blush over his delicate features and Ribbons' release trailing between his buttocks increased this impression. It lasted only until Tieria broke the silence to say, 

"This silly dress you picked _is_ too short."

Nevertheless Tieria got dressed in the skimpy white thing and combed his hair, much to Ribbons' amusement. His amazing couch mobile was equipped with a protective invisible layer was could be easily removed to keep the covers spotlessly clean. He too cleaned himself and got dressed in what Tieria thought was the most fanciful frilly shirt and vaguely ballroom-like outfit. 

"That is a very clever contraption. Hygiene is important." 

"Could it be that we actually agree on something, Tieria!" 

Tieria humphed and put on his shoes. 

"Let us just leave this insane car of yours." 

Tieria took the escalator ramp simply for convenience sake. By now he had given up on any attempts to make the skirt any longer. To his surprise Tieria found a rather embarrassed cluster of wedding guests standing in front of a huge cathedral. Allelujah was blushing intensely and staring at his feet. Revive and Hilling were giggling in the background. Sumeragi seemed unsure of how to react. Lockon had that mischievous look on his while. And Setsuna was, well, Setsuna. 

"Why are you people just standing around like that?" 

Lockon burst out laughing. 

"Now that was some crazy action. That couch thing was really shaking. You're going to be on fire for your honeymoon!" 

Tieria's eyebrow twitched. Ribbons wisely took a few steps aside to be on the safe side.

"Shut up, Lockon Stratos! You are way out of line!" 

Lockon rubbed his hands happily. 

"We better get this wedding started or you guys may end up going at it in church! Hey, that's kinda hot when I think about it." 

Hilling and Revive had a combined fit of hilarity. Tieria glared at Lockon and even Ribbons pitied the fool. Especially when Tieria removed a shoe and threw it at Lockon who narrowly dodged it. 

"Oy, don't be so cross! It's all good!" 

Tieria removed the other shoe and was about to throw it, in a clear display of his bitchy ways. At this point Setsuna decided to intervene. 

"Tieria Erde. Gets screwed by Ribbons. Likes it, too." 

Ribbons had to laugh but he regretted it almost immediately. 

"It's not funny! Not funny! Setsuna, you of all people should not be making such remarks!" 

Revive and Hilling threw themselves on the ground in a giggling fit. 

"And you two! I'll have you shot! I mean it!" 

"Yeah, right. Like you'd actually hit us!" 

"Way to go, Ribbons!" 

Tieria's self control snapped. He stumbled his way to the laughing pair and kicked them both with a one heel he was still wearing. Tieria then turned to Ribbons and smiled happily, retrieved the one missing shoe- going past the now sniffling Revive and Hilling who tried their best not to cry too much- and put it back on. 

"I feel so much better now. Shall we go, Ribbons." 

Ribbons offered his arm and together they walked into the towering building.

*

"What the...what the…? What are these guys doing here?!" 

Tieria stared in mute horror at the mountains of Brings and Devines that filled most of the pews. 

"Well, as you said this is a political union and as such we need a full house to attend. Your acquaintances and mine are not enough to fill the cathedral so I took the liberty of inviting them." 

Tieria blinked. And blinked some more. 

"What do you mean, you invited them?! Where did they come from?" 

"I cloned them." 

"You what?! The one character I actually manage to kill gets mass produced?! Get them out of here!" 


	10. Chapter 10

Ribbons shrugged.

"They'll take offense, Tieria. Besides, where would I keep them?"

Tieria pointed at him angrily.

"That is not my problem! Throw them into a black hole!"

They reached a compromise with the Bring and Devine crowd jammed on the Innovators' side of church, Tieria decided that he would get rid of them as soon as this completely idiotic ceremony was over.

Lockon walked Tieria down the aisle and for once managed not to make any goofy remark. In fact, the only thing Tieria could against him was the wink he gave Ribbons as he handed him over at the altar. Unfortunately that was enough for Tieria to glare him.

Sumeragi was the assigned priest since she was qualified to celebrate weddings as an officer. She was not too sure of how procedures went, though, so she had to read off a sheet of paper.

"We are gathered him to unite in holy matrimony these two Inno- I mean, people. People, yes. Before God, mankind as the Skittles- I mean before God and mankind. Right. Now, Tieria Erde do you-"

"Miss Sumeragi, I took the liberty of rewriting our vows."

And with this Ribbons handed Tieria a long sheet of paper that reached the floor in its absurd length. Tieria began reading it, his voice getting more upset as he carried on.

"'I, Tieria Erde, being unworthy as I am, am greatly honored to unite myself to the great Ribbons Almark who is the epitome of intelligence, sophistication, beauty-'...always knew you were an ego maniac but this is too much."

"Are you saying that you don't agree to them?"

"What do you think? Of course I don't agree to them!"

Ribbons pouted slightly.

"What if I remove the part about you being unworthy?"

"What if you shut up. Let's just skip this part."

Sumeragi turned a page and scanned the text. Ribbons sighed in the most fake of ways.

"Next is- oh yes. 'If there is anyone that knows of any impediment to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace'."

Tieria looked around nervously.

"Let's skip this part too-"

The tall church doors exploded with a loud blast and Tieria jumped, landing on Ribbons' arms who gladly held him. Someone was ascending the mountain of debris that was a pair of strong wooden doors just shortly and Tieria paled considerably.

"Not so fast! I object!"

"Oh no…Regene?!"

Regene smugly walked to the altar while guests stood in blinking surprise.

"I saw this on Seed Destiny and wanted to try it myself. So I took Seravee for a joyride, couldn't find Freedom."

"You stole my Gundam…? I'll have you reported! And shot! Shot and reported!"

"I borrowed it. I wanted to burst through the roof but I couldn't get it to fly, it's a terribly bulky mecha. Anyway, Tieria! You can't marry Ribbons!"

"Don't insult my mobile suit, you, you purple freak of nature!"

Ribbons coughed discretely.

"I don't think that your Gundam's reputation is what's wrong here, Tieria. But who can understand brotherly love?"

"He's not even my brother! He's a creepy stalker clone! It's all your fault, you kept saying his name and that summoned him from whatever place he lurks during the daytime!"

Regene adjusted his glasses.

"I've been staying in your ceiling, taking pictures. I got a great angle right above your bed. It took me a while to get here because I got a new bondage gear for you, I was training on myself and got a bit entangled."

Tieria flailed considerably.

"See? I told you I was being stalked!"

"I don't stalk you, I do it out of love! Imouto-chan, no one loves you like I do! Where else will you find anyone with a visual library of over three thousand hours of uncensored and never seen Tieria Erde footage?"

"Did you…did you just call me Imouto-chan? And you've been filming me?!"

Regene crossed his arms.

"Of course, Imouto-chan. I must watch over you to keep people with bad intentions from taking advantage of you."

"You just go away and leave me alone. And stop calling me Imouto-chan!"

"I hate to interrupt such a…touching moment but I was getting married here and you're disturbing a very important ceremony."

"This wedding shouldn't happen. Little sister, he does not truly love you!"

"I'm not your sister- oh, I give up. Of course he doesn't love me! It's a political marriage, I don't like him either! In fact, I hate him! Not as much as I hate _you_ but you're the stuff of nightmares."

Regene was responsible for Tieria's recently acquired mirror phobia.

"Tieria, I'm standing right here and listening to all of this."

Not to mention he was also holding Tieria in his arms.

"You know I don't like you."


	11. Chapter 11

Ribbons sighed dramatically yet again.

"You seem to forget all about that as soon as we're in bed."

Regene's glasses shone in that scary way that never failed to give Tieria the shivers and this time around it even sent chills down Ribbons' spine.

"Ribbons, what have you been doing to my precious Imouto-chan?"

Ribbons settled for another fake cough. You never knew what to expect from psychotic individuals with a severe sibling obsession.

"Oh, nothing."

Regene narrowed his eyes and granted him an ice cold glare.

"You better not do anything indecent to my adorable Imouto-chan. Or I'll go Memento Mori on you."

Ribbons kept a flawless smile while Tieria shifted considerably.

"I assure you that I value Tieria's purity."

Tieria rolled his eyes dramatically. This whole situation was already silly and annoying enough as it was without Ribbons and Regene acting like he was some token virgin or something equally idiot.

"Good. You touch him, you die. By the way, Imouto-chan what do you think of my outfit? Pretty neat, isn't it?"

Tieria looked at Regene's fashionable dark purple tuxedo that revealed a silky white shirt and a matching bow.

"This is becoming a pageant."

"By the way, what's up with the sea of strawberry? It's like a Bring and Devine overdose."

Tieria turned his eyes to the crowd of clones and finally scrambled out of Ribbons' arm. They sat in silence in formal tuxedos adorned with red roses and freaked out Tieria more than he was willing to admit.

"Stupid Ribbons cloned them. Because two of them just wasn't bad enough."

"Want me to kill them for you, Imouto-chan! Just say a word!"

"Go right ahead."

Ribbons was very peeved.

"But I spent such a long time cloning them just for this day. And getting them all matching tuxedos."

Regene produced a cleaver from an inner pocket and smiled happily.

"Don't worry, Imouto-chan! I'll get rid of them all for you!"

Ribbons wisely stepped out of the blade's range. His wedding was apparently doomed and he was not a happy Innovator.

"Don't kill them here! Think about the health hazard. And I won't even ask why you're carrying such a prehistoric weapon around."

"I got the cleaver to get out of the bondage kit. Still need to practice my knots. Speaking of which!"

Regene produced a coil of rope from another pocket. "Imouto-chan! Let's play 'tie-the-little-sister'!"

Tieria cringed.

"Dear Veda, you're absolutely nuts."

"Call me 'onii-sama'."

Tieria shuddered. It was yet another proof that the universe as a whole conspired against Tieria Erde. This marriage was a very strong hint to that undeniable truth that was almost a self evident axiom but having a freak as a clone that was into stalking, bondage and overall obsessing over him was the final straw. Yet Tieria suddenly had an idea.

"Tell you what…onii-sama, let's test that rope of yours."

"Great!"

It was Ribbons' turn to falter.

"But you're my bride…"

Regene gleefully took Tieria by the hand and the two disappeared behind a door. For a while all guests, including the Bring and Devines, waited in puzzlement while Ribbons sighed dramatically. Then there were some loud crashing sounds that came from said door, then some screaming followed by more loud noises. After which there was only silence.

Ribbons was wondering just what was going on when Tieria returned, dragging something along with him. Whatever it was it was quite heavy and in that pretty and short wedding dress Tieria had to shuffle. The burden turned out to be Regene, all bundled up in rope and gagged, looking like the world's strangest purple gift.

"We may proceed now."

Tieria gingerly resumed his place by the altar next to Ribbons.

"It seems we have 'Imouto-chan' back."

"Don't get started, Ribbons. Let's just get this thing over with."

Sumeragi leafed through the sheets of paper. She wished they had hired a proper priest and decided to go for a shorter version of the vows, one that would not have Tieria foaming at the mouth. Meanwhile Hilling had taken Regene's glasses and was wearing them.

"'Tieria Erde, do you take Ribbons Almark to be your husband?'"

"Whatever. I mean, yes. I hate this."

"'Ribbons Almark, do you take Tieria Erde to be your wife?'"

"Why, of course. Even though I am such a flawless Innovator and overall a highly intelligent, sensible, sophisticated etc individual I am willing to marry Tieria who, well, is…Tieria. Which means I am also a selfless and-"

"Enough speechifying. You're in love with your own voice. Bet you record it and listen to it in your sleep on headphones."


	12. Chapter 12

Ribbons brightened up.

"That is a wonderful idea. It's so good to see you can cooperate, Tieria. I thought you were a lost cause."

"Shut up. Ego maniac, it's a shame other things in you aren't as big as your ego."

Ribbons gasped.

"What are you implying?"

"Oh you know what I'm implying."

There was a snickering fit of giggles from the pews and Lockon saw fit to chime in,

"Aw, they already argue like a married couple!"

Regene tried to squirm free but Tieria's knots were far too tight. Sumeragi sounded very uncertain as she added,

"You may now…kiss the bride?"

Ribbons did not seem particularly inclined to do that but at the last moment he changed his mind and went for a deep kiss, pulling Tieria into an embrace and leaning against him even as he wrapped his arms around him. Tieria tried to get away but Ribbons was the only thing keeping him from falling as his heels lost purchase. Not to mention that Ribbons was a great kisser and knew full well how to knock the air out of Tieria.

Ribbons broke the kiss and brought Tieria back to his feet.

"We are now officially a married couple, Tieria…aren't you happy?"

"Let's just get out of here so I can get out of this annoying dress."

Tieria stepped down the altar and walked briskly to the exit. The sooner he could get into normal clothes the better.

"Wait! Haro wants to gives you your rings! You can't forget about the rings, they're important."

"Lockon Stratos, stop lecturing me on the importance of-"

"Haro! Haro! Haro!"

At this point the bouncy robot jumped right in front of Tieria who could not stop in time and stepped on it, falling flat on his face. Ribbons graciously condescended to walk over to him and offer his hand.

"Stupid robot!"

Tieria took Ribbons' extended hand to clamber to his feet, cursed the dress yet again and proceeded to kick Haro hard enough to send it rolling out of the hole on the wall which sent Lockon running after it.

"I am surrounded by idiots and clone stalkers. You're may even be the least bad of the whole lot."  
>Ribbons sighed.<p>

"Tieria, darling, you are my wife now so you must stop being so-"

Setsuna abruptly interrupted him and sprinkled green sparkles all over Ribbons and Tieria.

"GN particles. I spread them. No rice. Cures everything. Even plot cancer. Makes fighting couple not argue. Is good. Setsuna F Seiei: Main Character, am always right."

Tieria opened his mouth to inform Setsuna to get out of his face right now but as the particles began to glow on his skin he found himself growing rather hot and bothered.

"Setsuna, what exactly did you do to this particles?"

"Spiced them up."

Tieria's eyebrow twitched and he would have kicked Setsuna, main character extraordinaire or not, but Ribbons was holding him from behind and turning his face so that he could steal a kiss. Tieria wanted to resist, he really did, but whatever was on the GN particles made him melt into the kiss and shamelessly moan softly as he felt Ribbons' hardness pressed against him. Even though all wedding guests had their eyes on him, Bring and Devine overload included.

"You were saying that it was small, Tieria? You still want it, don't you."

Tieria was getting somewhat desperate. He was getting very aroused, his mind was becoming cloudy and he had to clutch at Rubbons to keep himself from reeling.

"…shut…up…"

"You know, in some human cultures a marriage is not official until it's been consummated in a marital bed."

Tieria rolled his eyes even as he found himself realizing all over again that Ribbons and his smug attitude was a great turn on. He found it difficult to properly think as Ribbons kissed him again and against his will he found himself grinding against him. Tieria hardly heard the whistles and clapping from the guests nor did he see Allelujah covering Mileina's eyes.

"Tieria! You're still in church! You've got to wait until the wedding night! And there's a minor here!"

Tieria was only vaguely aware of Allelujah panicking and he did not particularly care.

"You…me…inside Seravee…_Now_"

Ribbons smiled widely and prepared a snarky remark of his own but Tieria was dragging him along, literally, and he could only follow.

"My couch-mobile is ruined!"

Said vehicle was wrecked, Regene having driven Seravee into it. Ribbons was very distraught, after all it was his signature car but he had little time to think about this because Tieria had lowered the cable, climbed into it and got Ribbons to join him. So that somehow they ended up stumbling into the cockpit.


	13. Chapter 13

It was not at all fashionable and Ribbons would have complained had Tieria not pushed him into the seat, tossed off his panties and gingerly sat on him.

"Forget about your idiotic couch car."

Tieria kissed him hungrily. He had no patience and was far too aroused to lose time with unnecessary foreplay and Ribbons did not at all complain as Tieria unzipped him and brought himself down on his erection. Whatever Setsuna had done to the particles it was also influencing him.

"Still complaining about size matters, Tieria?"

Tieria did not immediately reply with a snappy remark because he was still adjusting to the sudden and very welcomed feeling of being filled so completely. A cockpit was not the most suitable of place to engage in this kind of activity but Tieria hardly cared at the moment. He just wanted to ride this hardness that was currently rubbing against his weak spot and driving him insane but he still managed to say,

"Don't dirty the cockpit."

Ribbons chuckled contently and traced the very noticeable bulge on Tieria's dress.

"Why, it was your idea to do it here. You just like the way I do you too much."

Tieria swayed back and forth as he moved up and down the solid thickness that he needed to feel inside of him. He could not keep himself from moaning as Ribbons tweaked nipples through the fabric of the wedding dress. Ribbons unzipped it and let it peel away to reveal Tieria's naked body in all its curvy glory of white skin only interrupted by two pink and hard nipples and by the equally hard member that was beginning to drip.

"It's the first time I actually see you naked. You are a sexy wife."

Tieria rolled his eyes, partially because Ribbons was simply being cheesy, partially because of Ribbons'deep thrusts. He clutched at Ribbons' shoulders and dung into them and settled for a steady rocking motion that had him moaning.

"Stupid GN particles…gah…"

Tieria blamed it all on the interference of said particles. He did not curl his toes and toss his head back each time he brought himself down because Ribbons was so good that he could turn his thoughts into mush , it was simply the effected of GN particles.

"Just admit it, you can't get enough of me."

Tieria picked up his pace, the faster he moved the faster he wanted to move. Ribbons only had to sit down and watch Tieria fuck himself with abandon. He playfully made a fist around Tieria's erection and smiled as he immediately bucked as a reflex.

"I hate you _so_ much…"

Ribbons laughed and easily pinned Tieria against the controls, pounding into him as he did so and making him squirm with pleasure.

"You love hate sex, then."

"No…sex…on the controls!"  
>Ribbons held Tieria's legs so that he could deliver deep and well timed thrusts that resulted in Tieria hunting for purchase on the console. Unfortunately he happened to activate a switch that turned the cockpit into a transparent bubble.<p>

Tieria freaked out as he realized that anyone could see them and tried to hit the same switch again only to have Ribbons pound into him harder so that his hand struck a button that caused the cockpit to suddenly shake. The unexpected movement drove Ribbons to ram into Tieria, fully enjoying the tightness that enveloped him.

"Why, Tieria. It seems that you may very well be unfit to be a Gundam meister."

"Don't you _dare_ even go there! People can see us now!"

Ribbons kissed him almost feverishly, moving them to nip his collar bone.

"Let us give them something to look at, then."

Tieria hardly protested as he was flipped on his belly and pushed against the controls and he only moaned as Ribbons's slammed roughly into him.

"People can see us!"

"Newlyweds are supposed to have sex. And you're too insatiable to care about who sees you being fucked. In fact…you may even like it."

Tieria angrily pushed back and turned his head so that he could glare at Ribbons. He trusted that was enough to convey his irritation since he could not exactly speak past his moaning. Tieria rocked, swayed and fought for breath.

"Shut…up…people are staring…!"

Through the transparency he could see the wedding guests looking up. Including all the unblinking Devines and Brings. Tieria cursed the GN particles anew. Ribbons bit into Tieria's shoulder and picked up his pace even as Tieria arched his back to receive all that could be received.

"That doesn't stop you from being this horny."


	14. Chapter 14

Tieria could feel himself losing all control and in an attempt to gain leverage to support himself against the incoming pounding that reverberated through his body he grasped at the controls and accidentally activated the eject function. And thus Tieria and Ribbons were hurled into the air in a small capsule.

"Why are you stopping?!"

They now slowly floated down to the ground and the cabin gently swayed back and forth. It only made Tieria want Ribbons to move.

"You really are a bad pilot. But an awesome fuck."

Tieria was far too gone to care. Ribbons resumed his fast and hard rhythm much to Tieria's satisfaction. Tieria did not even notice that they had landed since he was too busy coming by then. His body tensed as orgasm overcame him and he almost saw sparkles right before his eyes as irresistible pleasure washed over him. Tieria released in a hot spray just as Ribbons coated his insides with his own release.

For a while Tieria was unable to do anything other than lie in the midst of his afterglow. Ribbons withdrew and smiled smugly at the wet trail slipping from Tieria. He watched Tieria's breath evening out and kissed him deeply. Tieria tried to push him away. Ribbons pouted in mock offence.

"I'm beginning to think that my wife only wants me for the sex."

Tieria mumbled, sleepily.

"Oh shut up already."

Ribbons was preparing a teasing remark when the capsule opened and before him there were shiny glasses, glittering frightfully and purple. Tieria was too terrified to speak and even Ribbons found his smile faltering.

"Ribbons…this is very bad. I'll have to deal with you now."

Tieria covered himself with the dress.

"Whatever do you mean, Regene?"

The lenses flashed even more brightly.

"Oh you'll know soon enough, Ribbons. You just wait."

It was Tieria's turn to chuckle.

"Serves you right. Rapist."

Shiny glasses turned to Tieria who immediately regretted having attracted Regene's attention and grew silent.

"Tieria Imouto-chan, Onii-sama needs to fix you now and make you nice, pure and moe."

Tieria remembered reading in human psychology manuals that referring one's self in the third person often indicated psychotic tendencies. He was sure it also applied to loony purple clones.

"Moe…?"

"Imouto-chan is moe. That's why he can't get anything right. I must protect Imouto-chan."

Tieria whispered to Ribbons,

"What is he talking about? What is 'moe'?"

"I do not know. But it's true you don't get things right."

Regene was suddenly close enough for his shiny glasses to blind Ribbons.

"Only Onii-sama can say that about Imouto-chan."

Tieria decided to try something.

"I suppose Onii-sama no longer likes Imouto-chan so he can get lost- I mean, go away."

"Onii-sama _always_ loves his dear little sister."

"Okay…"

By now Tieria had given up on Regene simply going away.

"Imouto-chan, I keep a list of all those that violate your purity. That's the real reason why Gundam 00's kinkmemes are anonymous, because otherwise I'd fix the writers."

Tieria was puzzled now. He managed to get dressed and picked up his glasses that had fallen somewhere along the way as it was wont to happen when having sex in a tumbling Gundam cockpit.

"What are you even talking about? It's not as if there were fans writing highly unlikely stories in which their favorite characters end up in slutty wedding dresses or have sex even when there is no canonical evidence to substantiate this."

Shiny lenses shone brightly.

"How come you can't get your glasses to shimmer independently of any light sources? Regene pulls it off so much better."

"I have no idea. I think it's just that he's crazy. He most obviously represents the insane clone while I am the rational one."

Ribbons snickered quietly. Regene paid no attention and produced the cleaver yet again.

"Imouto-chan, 00 fangirls see you as the fandom's bicycle. And everyone knows they should only slash Imouto-chan with his loving Onii-sama."

Tieria flinched.

"Slash?! Don't say such things while carrying that thing!"

Ribbons shook his head.

"Tieria darling-"

"Don't call me that!"

"-Regene is not talking about literal 'slashing'. He means pairings that fangirls 'ship' for one reason or another. For example, many ship my amazing self with your less than lady-like purpleness. It must be to reinforce just how great I am. Not that there is any need for that but-"

Tieria blinked.

"Ship…? What do spaceships have to do with anything?"


	15. Chapter 15

Ribbons was still shaking his head at this as Regene chimed in.

"I've been using Veda to create a great dating sim/harem game, 'Imouto-chan no Rakuen'! It has several kinds of Tierias according to taste. There's shy librarian Tieria, tsundere Tieria, moe moe Tieria, emotionless girl Tieria, catboy Tieria- Yun Kouga helped with this one, Bunny Tieria- or Buneria, Gundam Meister Tieria, Naughty Nurse Tieria, Miko Tieria, Maid Tieria, Gothic Lolita Tieria, Sexy Cyborg Tieria- that is actually canon, Playboy Magazine Tieria-"

"Is _that_ what you've been doing all this time?! Veda is not a toy! You can't use it to make a stupid game about me, on top of everything else! That's not even legal!"

Another shiny glasses moment.

"Fans say that I don't do much but that's not true. I have a full time job: taking care of Imouto-chan. And how could I get amazingly perfect graphics and playability without Veda?"

"Oh I give up. You're just hopeless."

Ribbons cleared his throat.

"I hate to interrupt another brotherly moment but we have a honeymoon to begin and-"

"I also made my very own Tieria doll. With real Tieria hair!"

And with this Regene produced a small purpled haired doll. Tieria's jaw nearly dropped.

"You…what…? And what do you mean real Tieria hair?!"

Two scissors came out of the Regene's pockets, making Ribbons wonder just how many things he kept stored in them.

"I snipped off some strands while you were sleeping. Snip, snip, snip."

Regene's smiled yet again much to Tieria's extreme dismay.

"Couldn't you just use your own hair and press it down or something…"

"That just wouldn't be the same. See, I knitted a miniature pink cardigan and all. Sunrise wanted to sell it worldwide but I told them I'd fix them if they dared…snip, snip, snip."

Tieria shivered despite himself.

"Speaking of Sunrise, I wrote the script for Gundam Ribbons. It's a brand new anime about, well, myself. Maybe I could get Yun Kouga to also help me on a manga version even if my great voice skills would be-"

"Kouga-sensei only works with me."

Tieria was utterly lost by now.

"What are you two rambling about?"

"There is also ZAFT Tieria, red uniform and white uniform version plus Kira's Torii."

"How about a Lacus dress?"

Regene blinked in clueless dismay.

"Of course. Plus the battle Kimono. I can be Lacus and Imouto-chan can be Meer."

"Can anyone _please_ explain what you're talking about?"

"Imouto-chan doesn't need to know. But you could learn Lacus' be a princess that sings about peace!"

"We already have a character that does that and she's useless anyway."

"Apparently Regene goes to alternative continuities within the Gundam franchise in his free time."

Tieria was getting very tired of this whole affair.

"Whatever. I am getting out of here."

"Then it is…Memento Mori time! Plus Genesis!"

Before Tieria could say anything Regene was punching a button on a remote and a great white blast of light descended from the sky and fried Ribbons.

"What are you doing?! I need this guy!"

Charcoal Ribbons crawled on the cockpit and Regene smiled happily.

"Imouto-chan, you're free now! I have a pretty widow dress for you."

"He's not dead! Just…really charred. And I told you already, it's a political union! So I need him!"

Regene seemed to be considering this.

"Onii-sama wants to make Imouto-chan happy. And illicit affair Tieria sounds fun. I'll use the reset button."

Regene produced another remote.

"Reset button…?"

"Yes. I'm calling the shots behind the scenes."

Tieria could well believe it and as Ribbons went from a piece of greenish burnt toast to his usual Lettuce haired self, he became fully convinced. Ribbons blinked in confusion.

"Imouto-chan, Onii-sama has an autograph session now. But don't worry, I'll keep watching you via Veda. So as that other famous but not half as cool cyborg said, I'll be back!"

And with this Regene was gone while Ribbons still blinked.

"What happened…?"

Tieria shrugged.

"I don't even know. Let's just go to this boat of yours before he comes back."

"Is Rege-"

"Ribbons Almark, you say his name one more time and I'll be the one 'fixing' you."

*

"Let me guess. It's a couch cruise-ship."

Tieria studied the plush vastness of red cushion that covered the whole deck. It looked like a piece of floating fluff gliding along the ocean.

"Indeed it is. I'm sure you're impressed."

Tieria rolled his eyes.

"You're obsessed."

Ribbons neatly ignored him.

"As you can see, I got a prow figure shaped after my person."

"Right…that figures but why are these guys here _again_?"

Tieria meant the crowd of Brings and Devines that dressed as sailors populated the whole deck.


	16. Chapter 16

"They're the crew. Where else would I find such dedicated laborers that work for free?"

Tieria conceded to the point and made a mental note to dump them overboard anyway.

"Anyway, if you wanted a cruise honeymoon or whatever, why didn't you get a spaceship. You know I hate the surface."

To make a point Tieria squinted his eyes as the sun hit his lenses, reminding Ribbons of Regene and thus freaking him out considerably.

"Well, you're the token wife so what you like is not- I mean, you're a wonderful pilot and I'm sure you can adapt to all sorts of environments."

Ribbons gave him his best diplomatic smile. Tieria was not at all impressed.

"'Token wife'? Next time I won't bother with the reset button."

Ribbons decided that he needed to change the topic and so he selected one that was bound to interest Tieria.

"We have a fully operational Veda vault aboard. It has been furbished with upholstery."

"Couch computer? I'm not even surprised."

"You can check it out later at your leisure. Full access privileges, of course."

"Oh gee, thanks a lot. You're the one who took those privileges in the first place!"

"Forgive and forget, Tieria."

"Easy for _you_ to say."

Ribbons decided that a change of topic was in order.

"By the way, could you perhaps remove your Gundam from the deck?"

He stared at the mobile suit in question mournfully enough. It was too big and starkly white against the beautiful velvety couch stuff that Ribbons so admired.

"Why? It's fine where it is."

"Well, it is rather aesthetically unappealing. Maybe we could tow it on a barge of sorts?"

As long as the bulky robot was not within sight Ribbons was fine with it.

"Seravee is a mobile suit, it doesn't have to be pretty."

"Quite. But couldn't you camouflage it or something? You know, to keep enemies from finding it."

This should work, Ribbons thought. He was not mistaken.

"You do have a point. I will do that."

And just like that Ribbons' sense of aesthetics was greatly appeased as the mass of stark white metal became invisible.

"Next in the order of business we have the wedding reception."

Ribbons led Tieria an upper deck and did his best not to instruct him on how to climb stairs in a ladylike manner.

"Why? Stupid wedding is done. Thank Veda for that. Speaking of which, where is the Veda vault?

There are many updates I still have to run."

"Later, Tieria darling."

"Will you stop calling me-"

"Erde-san, Erde-san!"

Before Tieria could protest or in anyway react Mileina had tackled him down causing Ribbons to chuckle discreetly enough.

"What do you think you're doing- you- what was her name again?"

Ribbons shrugged in non-committal.

"I do not know. I only watched the scenes in which I starred so I have no idea who this secondary loli bait is."

"Erde-san, don't be mean! It's me, Mileina!"

Tieria struggled back to his feet and thoughtfully contemplated her.

"So I guess you did not watch the first season. I remember you now, generic little girl, second season addition. And I've always wondered…"

And with this Tieria removed the drill shaped buns that had been driving him insane for quite a while now. Ribbons blinked as he saw Tieria holding two pieces of hair that were apparently detachable.

"Erm, little girl…how much do you like your- original hairdo?"

Tieria hid the buns behind his back in the hope she had not noticed that anything was amiss. Mileina jumped up and down

"It's my special bun style pigtails, desu!"

"I see…"

And with this Tieria pushed the buns unto Ribbons who found himself holding them.

"Little girl, mean villain Ribbons here stole your hair. Because that's what Gundams villains do!"

Ribbons was going to object but Mileina cut him short by readily delivering a kick between his legs, thus causing him to drop the hair that bounced away on the couchy deck while he sank to the very red upholstered floor. Mileina proceeded to chase the buns.

"…_hate_ humans."

"Serves you right for being a rapist, an egomaniac who revoked my Veda access rights and overall a bastard."

Ribbons got up slowly and shakily.

"And they say I'm the bad guy in this show."

And thus, in a wonderful display of marital harmony, Tieria walked to the reception while Ribbons limped his way a few steps behind. Ribbons' mood was very dark but he brightened up considerably as the hellish human girl hit her supersized forehead against the invisible Gundam. If there was ever karma in action, this was a clear example. Now he had to teach this imperious purple wife of his a few things in proper discipline.


	17. Chapter 17

The reception hall was full of dancing and singing, helped by industrial doses of punch most of which had been consumed by Sumeragi and Lockon who were holding a very off key duet. Tieria glared at them.

"By the way, didn't you have a twin brother or something?"

"Oh, that! That was Sunrise trolling. I just _pretended_ to be Lyle. Pretty clever, huh? That's why there was no flashback with Lyle and Neil together!"

Lockon winked. Tieria kicked him under the table, it was something he had been wanting to do for a long time. He looked around and spotted lettuce hair getting some punch and then scanning a laptop monitor. Tieria decided to join Ribbons, at least it was better than putting up with Lockon's drunken theories, whichever Lockon it was, not that Tieria cared one way or another.

"Oh look, if it isn't Tieria Almark."

Tieria's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Very funny. What are you doing, anyway?"

"I'm checking the kinkmeme. These fans have such an amazing imagination."

"Is that what creepy purple was talking about?"

"Why, I believe so."

Tieria sat next to Ribbons and proceeded to browse for approximately five minutes. After which he got up and made as if to leave.

"Where are you going?"

"Back to my Gundam."

Ribbons was confused. Without a doubt military wives were simply too weird.

"Why?"

"I declare an armed intervention against perverted fangirls."

Ribbons sighed.

"You're overreacting."

"They even have 'girl!Tieria'! I am not female! And what exactly is a trap?"

Ribbons was considering how to answer this when Lockon decided to join them.

"Yay, kinkmeme! Any new stuff with me?"

A purple eyebrow twitched.

"Am I the only one who knew nothing about this insanity?"

"Yeah! Oh, _huge_ Lock and Tie fic! It's a bit cheesy but I'm so getting it printed!"

"Humans are complete idiots. If I ever meet this 'author' and I'm using the term very loosely, I'll 'fix him/her'."

Ribbons chuckled.

"That is a bit excessive, Tieria."

Tieria was not convinced. At any rate he was getting tired of this carousing and loud confusion. He looked around, Lockon was putting on an eyepatch and removing it in a lame attempt at comedy, Sumeragi was busy drinking the entire punch bowl, Revive was explaining Setsuna and Allelujah about his odd hairdo, and all around the many Devine and Bring clones popped with more drinks as if to remind Tieria of their being so conspicuous.

"I'm going to the Veda vault."

Ribbons brightened up immediately.

"I'll show you to it."

Tieria was already leaving the crowded hall and Ribbons followed gladly.

"I can find it myself."

"Do you know where it is?"

Tieria slackened off his pace. All corridors looked the same and he had a feeling it would be easy to get lost in this huge ship.

"Fine, just show me the way."

"I'd be glad to."

They walked up and down many passages, turned many a corner and finally arrived before two tall doors that Ribbons proceeded to unlock. Before Tieria stood a vast expense of soft sofa enshrining the typical rows of ever shifting information that he associated with Veda. There was none of the very soothing weak gravity that Tieria loved so much but the vague hint of ozone in the air and the reassuring rows of golden red symbols were very familiar.

"Veda…"

To Ribbons surprise Tieria proceeded to hug the console and cling to it. Ribbons walked to a cabinet and produced a collar to which a leash was attached and a long purple wig.

"I hate to interrupt this wonderful reunion but I'm sure you want your Veda access back."

Tieria prickled his ears and turned around with a hopeful look that faded almost immediately upon seeing Ribbons.

"What are you planning to do with that?"

Ribbons smiled amicably.

"This is how it's going to go down, Tieria dearest. You have conjugal duties that you must fulfill. So be a good wife and I'll get your Veda privileges back."

Tieria hesitated only for a few seconds.

"What do I have to do?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Ribbons attached the golden collar around Tieria's neck and handed him the wig that he recognized immediately.

"You still have this?"

"I always wanted you to wear this in bed."

"By the way, Tieria, I see that you're not wearing your wedding ring."

Tieria shrugged and adjusted the collar so that it wouldn't weight on his neck. The things he did for Veda. Another tug at the chain caused him to look up angrily.

"You don't expect me to actually wear _that_."


	18. Chapter 18

Ribbons tutted in that particular way that always annoyed Tieria exceedingly.

"Of course I do. You seem to keep forgetting that you are my wife. And now it's time you put that mouth of yours to good use unlike what you usually do which is act like Miss Gundam Meister."

A purple eyebrow twitched but his Veda connection was on the line so Tieria scooted on his knees and proceeded to experimentally run the tip of his tongue along Ribbons' exposed member. As he lathered up and felt it harden in his mouth the wig kept curtaining his hair, much to his annoyance.

"At least hold this absurd surplus of hair that you insist that I wear."

Ribbons chuckled and held the wig in a bun of sorts. It was so good to know that his wife was good for some things and that his scope of skills went beyond piloting and bitching but also included the way Tieria now tightened a fist around now fully hard flesh and swirled his tongue at the tip that he proceeded to suck.

"Wonderful thing, that Innovators have no gag reflex."

Tieria rolled his eyes at this but took the hint. Indeed he managed to swallow Ribbons' whole with little difficulty, sliding it between red lips applied to hot skin. Ribbons looked down at Tieria whose head was bobbing up and down, sweet warm wetness engulfing him. He had to admit that Tieria did have his uses. Tieria proved this point by licking a layer of pre cum and moving his fist with just enough pressure to make Ribbons sigh contently and pull at the chain as a reflex.

"Will you leave the chain…alone."

Ribbons raised an eyebrow and studied Tieria with some interest. His voice was strangely breathy and his cheeks slightly tinted by a pink flush. Ribbons took all this into account before yanking the chain, almost gently.

"My, could it be that you like doing this?"

Tieria snapped immediately.

"Don't be absurd. It's just that…"

Tieria did not finish, he trailed off. Ribbons noticed that the blush deepened. He pulled at the chain briskly and forced Tieria to his feet.

"Make up your mind already!"

Ribbons smiled more widely as Tieria tried to hide a very noticeable bulge in his dress. The wig that reached all the way to his ass made him look even more absurdly bashful and Ribbons made a mental note to make sure that Tieria wore it more often. Now that he thought about it, the glasses added something to Tieria's cuteness and he made a second mental note to check out Regene's dating sim. Ribbons pulled up the skirt and softly kissed the navel right along the panty lines.

"How exactly do you explain this?"

Ribbons rubbed him through the fabric and Tieria moaned under his breath.

"Something is wrong…"

Around them Veda hummed and Tieria was sure that it was becoming hotter by the second. He wondered if the vault was overheating due to some malfunction and then Ribbons removed the flimsy panties and Tieria forgot all about such technical issues. Ribbons was somewhat puzzled.

"It could be that Veda is reacting to the GN particles that were absorbed by your body."

Tieria had no idea but he supposed it made some sense. He was simply too hot all over and cursing Ribbons for knowing just how to make this awkward situation worse did nothing to alleviate him. Ribbons pulled him into his lap, Tieria hardly felt the odious chain tugging at him and it was of his own accord that they stumbled into a sloppy kiss.

"As your husband I'm ordering you to satisfy me. So get moving…_honey_"

Tieria knew that the best and perhaps only way of dealing with Ribbons was to simply block out the massive ego and highly aggravating slurs and stick to the sex. Because that Tieria had to admit was very good. And since for whatever reason he had his sensibility warped to an absurd extreme Tieria decided to simply go with along. He ditched the skirt and had to withhold a sight as Veda's atmosphere slowly suffused his skin with a kind of tingling warmth. Ribbons merely watched as Tieria licked fingers and proceeded to finger fuck himself, softly moaning into his ear as he did so. All things considered it was a very nice sight to behold but Ribbons would rather have some action so he was glad when a very eager Tieria sat up only to slowly lower himself unto his still spittle covered hardness.


	19. Chapter 19

Tieria did not even bother to fully get adjusted to this feeling of being so full and rushed right ahead, his body rocking back and forth, the long purple wig swinging with the motion. Ribbons decided that he would make Tieria grow his hair to this length. For the time being he settled for pinching one of Tieria's perky nipples. Normally Tieria would take the opportunity to bitch some but it sent a strange thrill down his spine. He arched his back and sank so that he could be taken deeply. Ribbons planted his hands on Tieria's round buttocks and pressed them together.

The redoubled friction was much appreciated. Tieria took a moment to catch his breath. He looked at Ribbons through heavy lidded eyes and his mind was becoming hazier by the second. Tieria wished that Ribbons would drop the cocky smile. All that was swept away when to his amazement Ribbons' eyes began to shine with that golden red light that was so familiar. Tieria stared with borderline pathetic fascination and Ribbons pulled at the chain again.

"Now, now, don't get star struck. Guess this is as close to getting fucked by Veda as it gets."

Tieria nodded almost obediently. He picked up speed with ease. The humming presence of Veda was electrifying and it lent him strength that he did not even know he had. Ribbons pulled the chain and went for a kiss, adding some bite along the lips. Another great thing about sex with another Innovator, apart from the lack of a gag reflex, was that no matter how hard or how often you fucked them they were always ever so tight. Which clearly proved their superiority.

"Do you want your connection back now, Tieria?"  
>In all fairness, Tieria did not particularly care and talking took too much effort so he simply nodded. Ribbons smiled gleefully enough. He activated Tieria's link and watched his eyes turn to a shiny golden red hue eye as they rolled slightly. Always trust Veda high to get Tieria to go all out, which he did by rocking his body fast and furiously, his brain waves becoming confused by interferences of pleasure. Tieria came first, which caused Ribbons to pout even as his own orgasm toppled him over.<p>

For a while Tieria could do nothing but bask in a very sweet afterglow. Veda information freely flooded his mind and made him forget the wet trail slipping out of him as he floated off. He accessed a couple of files that he gladly showcased in the ever expanding Veda network.

"See, these crazy fans also have _you_ wearing a wedding dress. I feel somewhat better now."

"Silly humans. Fact remains, Tieria dear, that you are the fandom's bicycle."

Tieria was preparing a snappy reply when an all too familiar voice spoke in his mind and an all too familiar face popped out in high definition.

"I am so glad that you are back to the fold, Imouto-chan. Now I can both read your mind and upload porn- I mean, tasteful sexy literature and images- directly into it."

Both Tieria and Ribbons paled considerably. Regene adjusted shiny glasses and carried on.

"Good thing that I hijacked Veda, don't you think? Now we'll always be together, Imouto-chan! And you better not get in the way, Ribbons. Or else."

Tieria shook Ribbons forcibly.

"Get rid of the connection! Or we're both doomed!"

"Well…that's the thing, I don't really know how to do that."

"You what?! You did it once, why can't you do it again?!"

"I lost the manual."

"Oh, I give up!"

And so a very merry honeymoon began in which Tieria Erde and Ribbons Almark greatly regretted being wired to Regene's brand new Veda that landed them straight in the world of the amazing 'Imouto no Rakuen' game, complete with maid outfits, cat ears and sailor themed skimpy clothing. But that is a whole different but every bit as plot-less story. For now,

**The End**


End file.
